Do You Read Your Horoscope Daily?

My astrologer predicted a year of successful enterprise and good fortune. So what went wrong? Had there been some ghastly bureaucratic astral mix up?

Tyne O'Connell

What astonishes me is not that people read their horoscopes, but that they actually believe what they’re reading. According to a study conducted for iVillage, 70 million people check their horoscope every day and one third of women horoscope users turn to their daily reading before making personal financial decisions. Ladies, you’ve got to be kidding me! Let’s get real; a daily horoscope is no more than entertainment, if that.

There are 12 signs of the zodiac and zillions of people on the planet born under each sign – young and old, rich and poor, healthy and sick, married and single, working and unemployed… How can a single horoscope possibly apply to every person reading born under that sign? A perfect case in point is my mother and me. We’re both Geminis. She’s 85. I’m 62. She’s a widow and not looking for a partner. I’m single and looking. She doesn’t work outside the home. I do. How can one daily horoscope possibly apply to both of us? Of course it can’t. But, daily horoscopes are filled with general statements that can apply to anyone’s life. E.g. Your financial outlook will improve. It could mean that you’ll land a great new job, get a raise, come into an inheritance, win a lottery, get an income tax refund… Everyone can apply a statement like this into their lives. Another popular one is “Great happiness is on the way”. This could mean anything - a new love, job, money, vacation… Again, it’s general enough that anyone can apply it to their lives, if they want to.

Why do so many people read their horoscopes? Psychologists call it the Barnum Effect (after American showman PT Barnum’s famous line, We’ve got something for everyone). People are willing to take these general statements and read personal meaning into them. Astrology is a multi-million dollar industry or multi-billion dollar industry depending on which report you’re reading. And according to Mashable, Googling the phrase "Free astrology report" returns more than 700,000 results.

Personally I suggest you go out and buy a package of fortune cookies. When you find out that the fortune inside is crap, at least you'll have a cookie.

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

Noel Coward

Make someone smile today.

Geri

Why Don’t We Have Aging Well Products Instead of Anti-Aging Products?

There is a fountain of youth: It’s your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.

Sophia Loren

Sadly we live in a culture that equates aging with leprosy. There are an infinite number of products on the market that call themselves “anti-aging”, advertised by 15 year old models. We’ve declared war on wrinkles, laugh lines, crow’s feet and grey hair because clearly they’re the ruination of woman-kind. And as women we buy into this beauty myth lock, stock and barrel. Isn’t it time we stopped treating aging like a disease?

According to U.S.-based market research firm Transparency Market Research the anti-aging market is poised for a healthy compounded annual growth rate of 7.8% between 2013 and 2019 and is projected to be worth USD 191.7 billion by 2019. Do you realize how insane this is? Hasn’t anyone figured out that you can have plastic surgery to get rid of all the lines on your face and you can dye your hair, but your body is still aging? No matter what you do, you’re getting older every day and there’s not a cream, lotion, potion or hair dye that’s going to stop the process.

When are we going to stop worrying about the outward appearances of aging and concentrate on living well? Life can be fun and meaningful at any age. My mother at the age of 85 is drop-dead gorgeous without any plastic surgery and with her grey hair! I assure you that she doesn’t blow the budget on anti-aging products. She plays duplicate bridge twice a week and regularly finishes in the top 3. Last week she complained bitterly about being tied for first. An avid reader, she rips through 3 – 5 books a week and is a fixture at her local library. In fact she and my sister-in-law Saundra have their own book club. She cooks wonderful meals every day and due to popular acclaim I’m going to be compiling her recipes into a book called “Unforgettably Shirley”. Shirley is my hero!

Stop looking at 15 year olds advertising wrinkle creams and stop lamenting about aging. Smile at yourself in the mirror and and be happy you made another day.

It’s the rudest word in the dictionary “retire”. And “old” is another one. I don’t want any of those old words. I like “enthusiastic”.

Judi Dench

Make someone smile today.

Geri

Why I Quit Online Dating

Online dating is just as murky and full of lemons as finding a used car in the classifieds. Once you learn the lingo, it's easier to spot the models with high mileage and no warranty.

Laurie Perry

I’ve officially quit online dating. My profile is now deleted, never again to be resurrected. I know that online dating does work for some people, but I’m not one of those. My friends will no doubt be quite dismayed at my decision; not because they wouldn’t support it but because they’ll no longer be regaled by my online dating escapades. Amusement at life’s foibles will have to come from other sources.

Einstein’s definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. This sums up how I feel about online dating. I used to find the fake profiles, scammers and people lying about their ages, hobbies, interests and professions mildly entertaining, but no longer. Amusement has given way to annoyance and irritation. And so, it's time to go. I’ll leave online dating to those who are still hopeful that their Mr. or Ms Right is on Match, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish or the like.

In case you’ve bought into the hype that the only way people meet anymore is online, you couldn’t be more wrong. According to Pew Research, only 5% of Americans who are in a marriage or committed relationship say they met their significant other online. The overwhelming majority of relationships begin offline. According to Google Consumer Surveys the 3 most common ways that people meet are:

1. Through friends in common

2. Out in a social setting

3. Through work

The online dating chapter of my life is now closed. Instead of approaching dating as a mission, I’m just going to live my life and see what the universe has in store with me.

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

Scott Adams

Make someone smile today.

Geri 

Why is it Cheaper to Buy a New Printer Than the Ink?

Printer ink costs over seven times more than Dom Perignon vintage champagne per millilitre.

Uber Humor

Last fall I bought a new wireless printer for $50 (on sale) and I’ve been very happy with it. I don’t print often so the ink generally lasts quite a long time. As the ink is now running low I’ve started pricing ink for this printer which takes 5 cartridges. I checked at a few big box stores that in the past have had the best prices. Believe it or not the best prices on the ink still came in at $70+! Do you realize how insane it is for it to be cheaper to buy a new printer than replacement cartridges???

Suddenly a light bulb went off and I went to Amazon. I know that everyone under the age of 30 or even 40 would have immediately gone to Amazon, but being an old fart at the ripe old age of 62, I still think of bricks and mortar first. Needless to say I was stunned to discover that Amazon had a line of compatibles (brand new and with 5 star reviews) for $15.99 for a 5-cartridge pack plus shipping or $29.50 for 2 5-cartridge packs with shipping included. I am my father’s daughter and I can’t resist a bargain so I ordered the 2 5-cartridge packs for $29.50, shipping included.

I’ve always heard that companies manufacture the printers just to sell the ink but I’ve never actually seen proof of it before. The moral of the story is buy compatibles and follow the lead of the young people who understand the virtues of buying online. Whoever said that old dogs can’t learn new tricks was wrong. This old dog is constantly learning new tricks.

You want to print black and white? That’s too bad. You’re out of yellow.

Webfail.com

Make someone smile today.

Geri

Do Sneakers Really Need to Be High Tech Or Made By Designers?

Whoever said that running was a cheap exercise has not seen the receipts for my running shoes.

Unknown

I know they’re not called sneakers anymore; now they’re walkers, trainers or runners and there’s a shoe specific to any and every sport. And that’s not all. There are shoes actually constructed for different gaits. How many of you know if you overpronate or supinate (which is actually underpronation)? Or do you need a neutral runner (which means that you don’t over or under pronate)? You now need extensive medical training to understand what type of sneakers to buy and a big wallet because high tech sneakers don't come cheap.

When I was a kid we all had a pair of sneakers, usually white which we made dirty as quickly as possible. I can’t remember why but we never wanted our sneakers to look new. They certainly weren’t expensive and we wore them during gym class or out playing so we wouldn’t ruin our good (and expensive) shoes that we wore to school.

Sneakers are now a fashion item and all of the designers are in the game. They don’t care if you overpronate or supinate. They only care that you’ll spend hundreds of dollars to make what they consider to be a fashion statement in designer sneakers; and the prices will make your head spin!

• Maison Margiela: $1,256.00
• Valentino: $1,060.00
• Guiseppe Zanotti: $983.00
• Givenchy: $895.00
• Fendi: $700.00
• Prada: $595.00
• Alexander McQueen: $575.00
• Stella McCartney: $565.00

I have to confess to how unfashionable I really am. I was recently away on my annual golf holiday with my friend Sue and we went outlet shopping at the Birch Run Outlet Mall in Michigan. At the Easy Spirit store in the clearance section I found great sneakers for $14.95, and they’re cute too! I was so excited that I bought 2 pairs. Last Saturday I was out walking in my new $14.95 sneakers for 2.5 hours and I can honestly tell you that I’ve never worn anything more comfortable in my life. Every year on my annual pilgrimage to Michigan I'll be visiting the Easy Spirit store to stock up on sneakers. I can say with a great deal of certainty that designer sneakers will never be in my future.

Dudes can’t afford to take their girl on $200 dates cuz they buy $200 sneakers every weekend to impress other men.

oliviabosschick

Make someone smile today.

Geri