… the mask will drop down. Please put your own mask on and pay for your
oxygen with a major credit card before assisting others with their transaction.
Blazek
Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away, air travel used
to be fun. Then the airline industry was taken over by the evil empire and now
it’s the ultimate indignity. In order to realize the maximum profits possible they cram
so many seats into a plane that even a shrimp like me who’s 5 feet tall has no
legroom. How does a normal size person contract and contort themselves into a
shape that allows them to be seated in so tiny a space? And, no one over the
age of two should ever have to sit in the middle seat. God forbid anyone reclines
their seat; they could be compressing your ribcage and cutting off your oxygen.
How much does a plane ticket cost? Who knows??? The quoted
fare only tells part of the story. By the time you add the cost of pre-booking
a seat (per leg) and the cost of checked baggage (by piece, volume and weight
per leg) the cost of your ticket, which may have seemed like a bargain, is now
an outrage.
Check in is usually 3 hours before boarding because of the
security hoops they have us jumping through. Take off your shoes, belt, metal
jewelry, empty your pockets, take your computer out of your bag… You can’t take
any fluids over 3 ounces in the cabin so you have to repackage skin care products, sun
screen, hair care products, etc. You can’t take mini scissors, tweezers,
knitting needles, crochet hooks, etc. onboard because apparently they’ve been
declared dangerous weapons. Then how do terrorists get on board with box
cutters when grannies across the land have to surrender their knitting needles?
Onboard service is an oxymoron in term. If you’re lucky you
can get coffee, tea, non-alcoholic beverages and snacks (but no longer the
smoked almonds everyone loved in case one person on your flight has a nut
allergy and is stupid enough to eat the nuts). Meal service no longer exists on
most flights but they will sell you a plastic sandwich for a ridiculous price. In
flight entertainment may now only be a Wifi connection, so come equipped with
your own entertainment.
Still, we have no choice but to fly to certain destinations,
so we accept being treated like cattle while paying princely sums. What’s wrong
with this picture???
Airlines have now banned tweezers. Personally I believe that anyone that
can hijack a plane with tweezers deserves the plane.
Kappit
Make someone smile today.
Geri
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