Why I Quit Online Dating

Online dating is just as murky and full of lemons as finding a used car in the classifieds. Once you learn the lingo, it's easier to spot the models with high mileage and no warranty.

Laurie Perry

I’ve officially quit online dating. My profile is now deleted, never again to be resurrected. I know that online dating does work for some people, but I’m not one of those. My friends will no doubt be quite dismayed at my decision; not because they wouldn’t support it but because they’ll no longer be regaled by my online dating escapades. Amusement at life’s foibles will have to come from other sources.

Einstein’s definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. This sums up how I feel about online dating. I used to find the fake profiles, scammers and people lying about their ages, hobbies, interests and professions mildly entertaining, but no longer. Amusement has given way to annoyance and irritation. And so, it's time to go. I’ll leave online dating to those who are still hopeful that their Mr. or Ms Right is on Match, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish or the like.

In case you’ve bought into the hype that the only way people meet anymore is online, you couldn’t be more wrong. According to Pew Research, only 5% of Americans who are in a marriage or committed relationship say they met their significant other online. The overwhelming majority of relationships begin offline. According to Google Consumer Surveys the 3 most common ways that people meet are:

1. Through friends in common

2. Out in a social setting

3. Through work

The online dating chapter of my life is now closed. Instead of approaching dating as a mission, I’m just going to live my life and see what the universe has in store with me.

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

Scott Adams

Make someone smile today.

Geri 

Rating the Online Dating Game

I can’t believe how convenient online dating is! Now my dream of finding love can be crushed more efficiently and in the privacy of my own home.

RottenECards

Every dating site brags that they’re responsible for the most relationships and marriages. Since there’s never been a scientific study that measures the effectiveness of each online dating site and provides empirical data as to the results, the dating site brag-a-thon continues. Here are a few less than scientific observations about the online dating sites that my friends and/or I have used.

Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony, claims to be responsible for 5% of all marriages in the United States, but has no data to back up the claim. According to the Pew Research Center (which happens to be a reliable source of information and has the data to back up their statistics), 5% of Americans who are in a marriage or committed relationship say they met their significant other online. That’s 5% in total of all the online dating sites out there so there’s no way on God’s little acre that eHarmony could possibly back up their ridiculous claim. According to the experiences of my friends (I have never used eHarmony. I refuse to sign up for a year and pay way too much money for the privilege), eHarmony is the worst. They’ve met fewer people than on the other sites and none even had a second date as a result.

Plenty of Fish (POF) or Plenty of Minnows as I affectionately call it is the powerhouse of free dating sites. POF claims to have 3.5 million daily active users who have 9 million conversations every day. And they claim that every 2 minutes a couple confirms to POF that their relationship started on the service. Again, take the grandiose claims with a grain of salt. However, anecdotally, POF is the hands down winner in the success department. In my immediate circle of friends, there have been several long term relationships and a marriage. All I can say is that people are getting their money’s worth (it’s free) and their claims may indeed be accurate.

Match.com claims to have helped create 517,000 relationships - 92,000 marriages, and 1 million babies. However, the numbers that they quote are for the Match Group, not Match.com. And, what you may not know is that the Match Group bought OKCupid in 2011 and Plenty of Fish in 2015. So they now have the market cornered in the online dating world and their quoted statistics may not reflect Match.com, but the Match Group. What I found interesting was that the biggest user group at Match.com (according to Match) is the age range of 25-44 which makes perfect sense because none of my friends or I (in the 60ish age range) have had any success on Match.

OKCupid claims to have 1 million active members. One very odd statistic (at least to me) is that they boast that 58% of members indicated an interest in bondage in 2015. This is up 5% over the year before. For all of you who are into bondage, OK Cupid is the site for you. They offer no statistics about lasting relationships and marriage. What I find even more interesting is that one of my friends has had a bumper crop of dates on OKCupid. Perhaps we should have a chat about her predilection for bondage…

Based on your online dating profile I’m guessing literacy is not one of the characteristics we share.

QuotesGram.com

Make someone smile today.

Geri

Has Google+ Morphed into Plenty of Fish or Match.com?

I have nothing against online dating sites; as you know I’ve tried a few… But, I’ve always made a very clear distinction between my online business life and personal life. I’ve never had a Facebook account nor do I participate in Instagram, Pinterest or the like. I do have LinkedIn and Google+ profiles, in addition to a Twitter account. These accounts are all business related. In fact this blog is my only foray into the personal online world.

As you are most likely aware, Google+ notifies you when people have added you to their circles. I was more than surprised when as of about 3 months ago the majority of people who were adding me on Google+ were men looking for dates. We didn’t have any people in common so I have no idea how they came to my profile. I’m not a prolific poster, nor, sadly, am I a great beauty that they just couldn’t resist. Of this illustrious group, approximately 1/3 said that they were in the US military and I have no idea why military men would be adding me to their circles. I don’t have, nor have I ever had an association with the military of any country personally or professionally. And, truth be told, men in uniform don’t turn me on. The remainder of the date seekers were random. Here are snippets from their profiles:

• I am looking for a special, loving relationship with a unique woman who is Honest, affectionate, sincere…
• I am extraordinarily unique but with some average facets. I am a hopeless romantic, (laugh). I enjoy cuddling up on a couch, pardon me about that. I am sensitive, sentimental, compassionate…
• Looking for Friends, Dating, A relationship

Don't these snippets sound like the come from dating site profiles, not Google+? I guess instead of complaining I should enjoy the fact that I’m popular somewhere!

Do you believe in computer dating?
Only if the computers really love each other.
Groucho Marx

Make someone smile today.

Geri

My Personal Online Dating Favourites

Online dating has been good for comic relief and has provided me with fodder with which to amuse my friends. I refer to my online dating experiences as my Fish-Capades - an homage to Plenty of Fish, AKA Plenty of Minnows. Although online dating has not resulted in any relationships for me, short or long term, it does have entertainment value (certainly better than the meager offerings on network TV). I’d like to share my favourite emails with you. 

I should first explain that I am currently 61. I describe myself as “high energy, active and urban”. Clearly some folks that messaged me were confused about several words in my description. High energy, active does not indicate that TV watching is my activity of choice and the word urban, as in living in a city or accustomed to cities does not indicate that I'm a rural dweller or nature lover. Nor would I participate in camping, fishing or hunting. In fact, I only commune with nature on a golf course. My idea of camping is a motel instead of a hotel. I have a deep and abiding affection for indoor plumbing and I love concrete.   

You’d expect that when someone sends you a message it would contain the usual pleasantries and some comment about what you have in common. My all time favourite is, and I quote, “Hey, you’re not bad looking”. High praise indeed from a 65 year old, bald, morbidly obese retiree who in the Interests section lists TV and beer (I’m a non-drinker). 

My second favourite was chosen not for the email itself which only said “Hi” but for the accompanying photo. The person in the photo was wearing camouflage pants, a red and black lumber jacket, baseball hat worn backwards and a Tim Horton’s coffee in hand. This vision was standing next to a pickup truck and in the payload was a dead deer in full rigor. It could have been right out of “Deliverance”. We would certainly have been a match made in heaven!

There have been others that have been mildly amusing, but none could compete with these.

Make someone smile today.

Geri