Online dating has been good for comic relief and has
provided me with fodder with which to amuse my friends. I refer to my online
dating experiences as my Fish-Capades - an homage to Plenty of Fish, AKA Plenty
of Minnows. Although online dating has not resulted in any relationships for me,
short or long term, it does have entertainment value (certainly better than the
meager offerings on network TV). I’d like to share my favourite emails with
you.
I should first explain that I am currently 61. I describe
myself as “high energy, active and urban”. Clearly some folks that messaged me
were confused about several words in my description. High energy, active does
not indicate that TV watching is my activity of choice and the word urban, as
in living in a city or accustomed to cities does not indicate that I'm a rural
dweller or nature lover. Nor would I participate in camping, fishing or
hunting. In fact, I only commune with nature on a golf course. My idea of
camping is a motel instead of a hotel. I have a deep and abiding affection for
indoor plumbing and I love concrete.
You’d expect that when someone sends you a message it would
contain the usual pleasantries and some comment about what you have in common.
My all time favourite is, and I quote, “Hey, you’re not bad looking”. High
praise indeed from a 65 year old, bald, morbidly obese retiree who in the
Interests section lists TV and beer (I’m a non-drinker).
My second favourite was chosen not for the email itself
which only said “Hi” but for the accompanying photo. The person in the photo
was wearing camouflage pants, a red and black lumber jacket, baseball hat worn
backwards and a Tim Horton’s coffee in hand. This vision was standing next to a
pickup truck and in the payload was a dead deer in full rigor. It could have
been right out of “Deliverance”. We would certainly have been a match made in
heaven!
There have been others that have been mildly amusing, but
none could compete with these.
Make someone smile today.
Geri
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