The Dirty Little Secret About Corporate Culture

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

 Scott Adams (Dilbert)

The two most overused words these days are corporate culture. Every second business article is about corporate culture. Some people have nothing else to do but make lists that rate companies according to their corporate culture. Head hunters use corporate culture as a selling feature to candidates. The dirty little secret is that corporate culture is all hype and smoke and mirrors; or in corporate speak – it’s all about the optics.

Do you really think that these major national or international companies care about you? All you are is a number that equates with a dollar value. If they need to reduce dollars you’ll be right-sized or down-sized (whatever is the politically correct term these days for getting laid off). And, more often than not, the decision on who gets let go is politically motivated. Very recently an acquaintance of mine, who is the top producer in her department (in addition to being well liked and well respected) was let go. She was in a state of shock because she foolishly believed that being the top producer year over year earned her a “get out of jail free card.” Sadly what she didn’t take into account was the political back biting that goes on with these types of decisions.

Corporations are bursting at the seams with layers of ineffective, incompetent (or worse) managers. Most of these people, who have risen to their own level of incompetence, will never be the ones let go because it would cost too much to get rid of them, they’re diversity hires or there is nepotism involved.

The reality is that the quality of your corporate experience has nothing what-so-ever to do with the corporate culture B-S that you’re being fed (and expected to buy into). It has everything to do with your manager. It’s simple:

Great Manager = Great Corporate Experience

Lousy Manager = Lousy Corporate Experience

If you’re interviewing for a job or looking to move up in your present company, research the manager. He/she will make or break your experience and have a significant impact on your career. I’ve had the best corporate experience and the worst corporate experience at the same company. And right now I’m happy to say that I have a great manager!

At work don’t say load of bullshit. Say amalgamation of bovine fecal matter. Big words will get you that promotion.

Someecards

Make someone smile today.

Geri

I Hate Turning the Clock Back!

Don’t forget to turn back your clock. I’m going to turn mine back to when I was 20.

Maxine

On Sunday, November 6 at 2am we turn the clocks back one hour. That’s when I officially become a mole. “Falling back” strips me of my precious daylight hours. My office is a 45 minute walk and I typically leave at 7am. It’s a wonderful way to start the day but now that summer’s over, sadly my walk takes place predominantly in darkness. But, when I leave the office at around 4:30pm I enjoy a lovely walk home in daylight. This pleasure of life will be snatched from me as soon as we turn the clocks back on November 6.

Why do we spring ahead and fall back? There’s some interesting lore surrounding the time changes:

• Benjamin Franklin first suggested it in an essay in 1784.
• It was invented by George Vincent Hudson, a New Zealand entomologist in 1895, so that he would have more hours to collect bugs.
• British businessman William Willett proposed the change to British Parliament in 1907.

What we do know for sure is that the moving of the clocks was first introduced during World War One in 1916 by Germany and Austria, and then by the allies, to save on coal usage.

World War One is long over! People, let’s get our acts together and stop this time shifting madness! I want my daylight hours back. Mutating into a mole doesn’t become me.

I love turning the clocks back so it gets dark by 4pm.

Said no one ever!

Changeyourmindbodyhealth

Make someone smile today.

Geri

Why is our Culture so Celebrity Obsessed?

Celebrities are like infants. Neither can wipe their own ass.
Michael Brian

The level to which our culture has become celebrity obsessed has reached epic proportions. News that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt split up rocked the world! It completely controlled the news cycle for what seemed like an eternity. Someone would think that news of their impending divorce actually had some consequence in the world instead of what it actually was – celebrity obsession. And celebrity obsession is big business! There are television shows devoted to celebrity obsession – Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, Extra TV and Inside Edition are just a few. Celebrity gossip magazines sell off the stands like hotcakes – OK!, Us, Star Magazine, In Touch, People and The National Enquirer are the biggies. People give up their good, hard earned dollars for these gossip rags.

With Angelina and Brad controlling the news cycle, Kim Kardashian was desperate for attention. She did the only thing she knew how – started showing up at high profile events practically naked, but to no avail! Kim’s pathetic cries for attention were barely (pun intended) noticed. Then finally the Gods smiled on Kim and she was allegedly robbed of her jewelry and tied up (in no doubt some sort of S & M ritual) in a Paris hotel. At last Kim Kardashian controlled the new cycle again and peace was restored in the land.

There is however one reason that I’m grateful to Angelina and Brad and Kim; for the time they controlled the news cycle, Donald Trump didn’t!

A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.
Steve Martin

Make someone smile today.

Geri

Freedom 55 or Freedom in the Box?

I’m going to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll do the second day I have no idea.

Unknown

I find now at the age of 62 the topic of retirement comes up considerably more frequently than sex and that is indeed a tragedy. There is nothing sexy about retirement, but there is a certain practicality to these kinds of discussions among my old fart friends. We’re all concerned about the dollars and cents of retirement and whether retirement is even an option.

In 1960 the average lifespan of a Canadian was 71 years so in essence you only had to fund a 6 year retirement. Now the average lifespan of a Canadian is over 81 years in addition to a growing number of Canadians in their 90s and 100s. My own family certainly supports the longevity of Canadians. Both of my grandmothers lived to be over 90. Both of my grandfathers lived to be over 80. My father lived to be over 80 and my spectacular mother is now 85 and is a perfect candidate to make it to 100 and beyond. Now instead of figuring out how to fund a 6 year retirement, it’s not inconceivable that many of us will have to fund a 25 – 35 year retirement. I don’t know about you but that takes retirement off the table for me.

I remember when the Freedom 55 campaign was launched in the late ‘80s selling the concept that with the right planning you could retire at 55. My reality is retirement is not in my cards; it’s going to be Freedom in the Box. Truth be told even if I could afford to retire, I wouldn’t. I’m quite hyperactive and have never mastered the art of doing nothing. I would not be able to go through life trying to fill up my days and I love working. What about you? Are you retired? Planning to retire?

Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money. 

Author Unknown

Make someone smile today.

Geri

Keep Your Webcam Covered. Someone May Be Watching.

The first webcam was used in 1991 by Cambridge researchers for checking the coffee pot without leaving their desks.

8fact.com

Like many of you, I’ve read articles over the years that say you should keep your webcam covered when not in use. Quite frankly, I thought that this was over the top. After all, who would be interested in spying on me? However last week while I was online I noticed that my webcam blinked on off a few times and I didn’t engage it. In fact the only time it should be on is when I’m Skyping which I wasn’t. Although I still don’t think anyone was spying on me, I no longer feel that covering your webcam is akin to paranoia. After all, isn’t it better to be safe than sorry?

I was surprised to learn that it’s not just computers that are at risk. Hackers can access home cameras, baby monitors and security cameras as well. When I read that Mark Zuckerberg and the Director of the FBI keep their laptop cameras covered with tape, it seemed like a reasonable precaution given their positions and amount of sensitive information they deal with on a daily basis. But, it appears that hackers make quite an excellent living targeting average people as well. They try to get what could be embarrassing footage of people – in various stages of undress or having sex – and then blackmail them. Note to all hackers – if you have any naked screen shots of me go ahead and publish. I wouldn’t pay you a cent to suppress them.

I now keep my webcam covered when I’m not on Skype. Do you?

If it’s one thing I’m not its narcissistic. And I’ve got seven years worth of webcam video to prove it.

The Covert Comic

Make someone smile today.

Geri