T’is the Season to Get Ripped Off

When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.

Vanya Cohen

It’s supposed to be the season of “peace on earth and goodwill to man”, but the thieves and scam artists out there obviously didn’t get the memo.

Saturday mornings I take my mother grocery shopping and we go to a wonderful “all in one store”. They have everything – groceries, housewares, electronics and clothing. I’ve been looking around for a new printer because mine had become more temperamental than I am – sometimes it would scan or print; others times not, depending on its mood. So, clearly it was time for it to go. And, in this store’s weekly flyer they had the printer that I wanted at a terrific price and no tax. Who could ask for more? As soon as we entered the store I told my mother that I was going directly to electronics to buy the printer before it was sold out. I bought the printer and stored it in underneath the shopping cart while we did our grocery shopping.

I didn’t give it a second thought until we got to the cash and I emptied out the cart. At that moment I realized that my printer had disappeared. Not wanting to believe that someone had stolen it, I went up and down every aisle in the store in case it had fallen out (although there is no way I could have missed a very large box falling off my cart), to no avail. Never-the-less I still didn’t want to believe that someone stole it, so I went to customer service to see if anyone had turned it in. Of course no one had. The folks at customer service were lovely. I had my bill and they knew me because I shop there religiously every Saturday morning. They went to electronics and gave me another printer, which mercifully was still in stock.

You really have to be diligent at all times, but particularly at this time of year when the thieves and scam artists are out in full force. It may be the time of peace on earth and goodwill to man, but hang onto your purse and keep an eye on your possessions!

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

Aesop

Make someone smile today.

Geri

Adopt a Pet – San Diego Style

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

Anonymous

We live in a society where many of our beloved pets rule the roost; and so they should. If we’re lucky, at one time in our lives we’ve had a truly spectacular pet. Mine was a tricolour collie named Satan, who had a nose that resembled my father’s and a heart as big as the great outdoors. Satan had no idea he was a dog and we did nothing to discourage that notion. He was extraordinary in every way, smarter than my brother and me, and all these many years later, he’s still missed. Satan was our perfect dog and I know that many of you have similar stories about your pets.

Not all pets are so lucky and there is the never ending challenge of finding homes for many wonderful animals who only want to love and be loved. There are television commercials and print literature with pathetic shots of animals in cages to encourage us to open up our wallets and our homes. While I was in San Diego early in the year visiting my friends Marlene and Stefan and their very adored white, fluffy dog, Andy, I witnessed the most fantastic idea for getting people to adopt dogs. We were on the Coronado Beach Boardwalk when a group of San Diego Humane Society workers/volunteers walked along the boardwalk, each with a dog wearing a coat that said ADOPT ME. Isn’t that the most wonderful idea! You have the opportunity to see the dogs in a lovely environment, walking proudly along the boardwalk, instead of cowering in cages. Their personalities really have the chance to shine. And this works; friends of Marlene and Stefan adopted a dog they saw walking along the boardwalk.

Why don’t other Humane Societies and SPCAs learn from these kinds of success stories and do similar things? We could do the same in Toronto and I’m sure every other city has multiple locations where they could take their dogs out for a walk to meet and greet the public. Why don’t we try Adopt a Pet San Diego style?

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
Maria Corelli

Make someone smile.

Geri

Since When Does Christmas Start on November 1st?

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry

I don’t know about you, but Christmas seems to start earlier every year. This year I was in shock when the day after Halloween my friend Janice and I were out engaging in some retail therapy in Kingston and almost every store we walked into was completed decorated for Christmas. Did the elves appear at the stroke of midnight on November 1^st and spend the entire night removing all traces of Halloween and getting out the full Christmas regalia? Wasn’t there a time when the Christmas spirit didn’t begin until December 1^st? Or at least until after U.S. Thanksgiving and Black Friday?

I’m not doing the Bah Humbug thing! And, it has nothing to do with being Jewish, although I’m quite delighted that I don’t have to run around like a mad woman buying gifts for everyone I know and going broke in the process. I enjoy seeing Christmas decorations in the neighbourhoods and the CN Tower lit up like the mother of all candy canes. The Bay on Queen and other downtown stores do spectacular windows. All of this is lovely and festive, but not on November 1^st. Let’s be realistic; how many times can you listen to “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” without wanting to gag? I understand that Christmas is a big retail season and that the stores want to maximize its potential, but I’d like to at least have my winter tires on before I’m surrounded by Christmas.

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Jay Leno

Make someone smile today.

Geri

Want to Quit Smoking? Go to the Dentist.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Mark Twain

I was a long time off and on again smoker until about 20 years ago. Like many of my generation we grew up with cigarette smoke everywhere – in elevators, offices, planes and even in hospitals. I can remember going out to dinner with a group of 10 and on the table were 10 packages of cigarettes, 10 lighters and 10 ashtrays. We smoked while we talked, we smoked while we drank and we even smoked while we ate. Waiters spent more time changing ashtrays than bringing food to the tables. The air was blue everywhere but we never noticed because it was the norm. There was no such thing as a “no smoking area”.

Gradually over the years smoking became less and less acceptable and most smokers (including me) considered quitting and usually made numerous attempts. One December morning I had a dental appointment which for me is a fate worse than death because I’m phobic of the dentist. After what seemed like an eternity, I was finally released from bondage and got out of there as fast as my feet could carry me. It was a beautiful December morning. There was snow on the ground and the sun was shining. The first thing I did was reach into my handbag for a cigarette. I lit my cigarette, expecting satisfaction, but instead I experienced the worst taste imaginable. I tossed the cigarette and walked home. Still frozen, I could only have tepid water so I sat down in the dining room and lit another cigarette (in those days we all still smoked in our houses) – same reaction. The taste was vile and I immediately put out the cigarette.

Believe it or not, that was my last cigarette. I’ve never had the desire to smoke again. I kept the package Dunhills in a drawer in the kitchen for the longest time in case I changed my mind, but I never did. At the time I did some research as to why the dental appointment triggered this type of reaction and the only thing that I could come up with is that I had several shots of painkiller which could have had an acupuncture effect. The truth is that I don’t know and will never know, but I am a non-smoker and I’ve never had a craving for a cigarette since. So, want to quit smoking? Go to the dentist.

A cigarette is a pipe with a fire at one end and a fool at the other.

Author Unknown

Make someone smile today.

Geri

5 Tips for Recognizing an Online Dating Scammer

Based on the content of your online dating profile I’m guessing that literacy is not one of the characteristics we share.

Somecards.com

Several of my friends and I have been off and on a variety of online dating sites over the years including POF, Match, eHarmony and OKCupid. This of course doesn’t qualify us as experts but collectively we’ve had some interesting experiences and would like to share our top 5 tips on how to recognize an online dating scammer. Beware of:

1.The GQ style photo: The photo typically shows a guy with a head full of immaculately coiffed silver hair, wearing designer clothes – a sweater draped jauntily over his shoulders, tied in the front over a perfectly pressed linen, button-down shirt, light coloured casual trousers and loafers worn without socks. Ladies, get real! Most men's profile photos are selfies taken in the bathroom (I have no idea why men are fixated with taking photos in bathrooms), corporate headshots or old photos taken with their ex poorly cropped out (you can usually still see part of an arm or long hair). 

2.The syntax is all wrong for a native English speaker: When the profile says that the only language they speak is English and the profile is written by someone who speaks English like a Spanish Cow, run for your life! I had an email from a guy who was supposedly born and bred in Toronto telling me that he went to university in Texas, United States of America. Sure thing! When in doubt, read the profile or the email out loud.  

3.The profile is clearly a cut and paste job from several different profiles: I’ve seen profiles from guys that had sections in their profiles that changed gender a few times. Lucky for us they don’t proofread.

4.The guys that ask you for your personal email address right away so that you can get to know each other better: There’s no need to communicate off the online dating site. After all, you live in the same city, so exchange a few emails and arrange to meet for a coffee. Don’t fall into the trap of getting lured off the site, even if they use the excuse that they’re out of the country for business…. It’s all the same ruse.

5.Of emails that start like “I’ve been struck by your beauty”. “God sent you to me”. “I knew from the moment I saw you that we were meant to be together”. Or emails that start with a love poem (plagiarized of course) or discuss love very intensely when you don’t even know if you want to have dinner with the guy.

Happy dating and stay safe! Please add your tips for recognizing online dating scammers.

Afraid of not getting what you ordered with online shopping? Ha! Try online dating.

Maxine

Make someone smile today.

Geri