Dear Santa, for Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body.
Please don‘t confuse it as you did last year.
Unknown
I couldn’t be happier that it’s been unseasonably warm and
we appear to be on target for a green Christmas. I’ve never understood the big
deal about a white Christmas (although I’m sure that Bing Crosby would take
objection to that statement if he could). After all, Christmas is celebrated
indoors – in Churches, in homes and in shopping malls (where Santas must really
sweat under the weight of the suit) – so it really doesn’t matter if there's
snow outside or not.
In fact a green Christmas will actually make it possible for
people to celebrate.
- Flights won’t be cancelled due to snow or ice storms.
- The roads will be nice and dry making it easy to take a road trip or get from place to place in your own city.
- The maximum number of parking spaces will be available instead of losing them to snow banks.
- Traffic jams won’t be caused by snow removal trucks.
- Seniors will be able to walk outside without fear of ice underfoot.
- The number of traffic accidents will be greatly diminished.
- There will be fewer heart attacks as a result of shoveling snow.
- People who don’t have the good sense to put winter tires on their cars won’t cause havoc on the roads.
- Public transit buses and streetcars will be able to travel unobstructed.
Now, aren’t you dreaming of a green Christmas?
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Andy Borowitz
Andy Borowitz
Make someone smile today.
Geri
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