I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas

Dear Santa, for Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don‘t confuse it as you did last year.

Unknown

I couldn’t be happier that it’s been unseasonably warm and we appear to be on target for a green Christmas. I’ve never understood the big deal about a white Christmas (although I’m sure that Bing Crosby would take objection to that statement if he could). After all, Christmas is celebrated indoors – in Churches, in homes and in shopping malls (where Santas must really sweat under the weight of the suit) – so it really doesn’t matter if there's snow outside or not.

In fact a green Christmas will actually make it possible for people to celebrate.

• Flights won’t be cancelled due to snow or ice storms.

• The roads will be nice and dry making it easy to take a road trip or get from place to place in your own city.

• The maximum number of parking spaces will be available instead of losing them to snow banks.

• Traffic jams won’t be caused by snow removal trucks.

• Seniors will be able to walk outside without fear of ice underfoot.

• The number of traffic accidents will be greatly diminished. 

• There will be fewer heart attacks as a result of shoveling snow.

• People who don’t have the good sense to put winter tires on their cars won’t cause havoc on the roads.

• Public transit buses and streetcars will be able to travel unobstructed.

Now, aren’t you dreaming of a green Christmas?

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Andy Borowitz

Make someone smile today.

Geri